I'm Not Saying it Was Aliens

I'm Not Saying it Was Aliens

By Karma Kaze 

I remember a strange occurrence one Christmas Eve..

I'm not sure exactly what year this was but believe I was at that tender age - the one marked by your older sister telling you burglars are going to invade your house to slaughter you; so you kind of just hoard knotted bed sheets in your closet and lie in frozen terror until your nervous system exhausts and there's nothing to do but to succumb to a catatonic state 'til morning happens.

On this particular night - amidst the season where all the halls are being decked (in the face) and you have an inherent urge to whisper "never wear black without the blue" to the sky above - I was really curious about this creep who's name couldn't escape everyone's mouth. Santa motherfuckin' Clause. 

I should mention that my parent's didn't ever take the time to inform me about those little things a kid should maybe know, like about Xmas legends, the easter bunny..sex and drugs and stuff like that. Thanks, guys. 

It was irritating to me because I've always hated liars, and was always overly skeptical about what my parents had told me. So when this Santa fellow came to mind, I really just wanted more than anything to get to the bottom of this bullshit. 

I thought, I have gone on TOO DAMN LONG, year after dubious year.. hovering in uncertainty - as to whether or not this dude is real or just a shitty happy Dr.Suess rendition of They Live - aka wool over my beady little eyes.

If he WERE real - I'd formulated plans to make friends with Rudolf so together we could jump all those other antler-y festive fucks that made fun of him and eat all their candy.

But I also wanted to stick it to my folks by calling their bluff.

So here's an overview of the situation on the night of the incident:

I'm lying in bed.

I remember being really, really, inexplicably bored – thinking, I ate all those sugar cubes outta my dad's liquor cabinet for this..?

I'm also pretty sure this took place before I learned how to tell time (I'm a late bloomer, gimme a break) so as I'm sitting here, I'm kind of just staring at the blinds over my window, trying not to think about spiders (or burglars- or spider-burglar hybrids), half spacing out.

That's when shit got fuckin' weird.

I heard this loud, buzzing, for lack of a better term - “space ship-y” sound and nearly peed myself.

I wasn't so much scared as I was completely surprised & dumbfounded.

When I focused on the window I just remember seeing reddish lights flashing very bright in a slow, monotonous rhythm on the glass.

What the hell is that sound, though..?

It wasn't as loud, high pitched, or urgent sounding as an Ambulance or any other emergency vehicle that I had ever heard..

Or garbage truck.

Or snow plow.

Besides, the sound was coming from right outside my window.. which is on the back of the house..

where the junkyard is.....not.......located.

After sitting there waiting for this sound to stop, so I can convince myself it was all a dream, I'm now frozen in a state of extreme dumb. And it continues to sound until I finally grow a pair and scrape myself up to look out the window..about 45 seconds.

By the time I got to the window, all I could make out was that muddy red light growing more and more pale pink, and considerably fainter in the dim, late night – early morning kinda sky.

I'm not saying it was aliens.

But it was aliens.